Mitchell and Webb Sound: Identity Theft
"Sit down Mr. Coleman, I am afraid I have got bad news about your
account.
Really?
I am very sorry to say that someone’s stolen your identity.
Oh God! Do you know who it was?
Well they said they were you, but
So, what happened?
Well it was on the bank website, someone logged in and committed identity
theft electronically.
I see. Did they take anything else?
No
Oh good, so all the money is still there.
What?
Its just my identity that’s gone. None of your money?
Well no they did, they emptied your account. Its identity theft.
They took all the money. That sounds more like a bank robbery.
No No if only. Cause we could take the hit. No no, it was actually
your identity that was stolen primarily. It’s a massive pisser
for you.
Identity Theft
But, its actually money that’s been taken.
Yes
From you
Kind ofr
I don’t know what you want from me, other than my commiserations.
No, you see, it was your identity, they didn’t just …they
said they were you.
And you believed them?
Yes they stole your identity.
Well, I don’t know cause I think I have my identity, whereas you
seemed to have lost several thousands of pounds. In the light of that
I am not clear why you think its my identity that was stolen, rather than
your money.
I know look a bit like that Mr. Coleman, but the sad part is that absolutely
nothing has been taken from this multi billion pound, whereas what they
have taken from you – a small business with a wife and children – is
your whole self.
Hold up! Put the money in the bag.
You mean their identities.
Just give us the money.
Damn you, masquerading as dozens if not hundreds of customers. How
dare you steal their identities?
Rights, lets move it.
Oh the humanity!"
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